Thursday, 14 December 2006

Charles Prince of Wales to breed Organic Dragons

Since it has become public knowledge that the Prince of Wales has purchased a Welsh farm,

the local rumour mill has been in full production.

It is believed the Prince will use the farm to breed organically reared Dragons.

The spokesperson for the Welsh Dragon Breeders Association (WDBA), Elvin Lewis (aged 49), stated:

“Since its establishment in 1986, the WDBA has been in the forefront of the Dragon conservation program. While there are still 30 breeding pairs in the Brecon Beacons, and it is rumoured that there are a few dragons living in remote inaccessible valleys in Snowdon, the main population of dragons can be found in number of farms located in the Upper Tywi Valley. We would welcome Prince Charles joining the Association, and consider there is commercial potential in establishing an organic dragon meat market.”.

WDBA’s enthusiasm is not shared by everyone. The Welsh Glacier Monitoring Unit (WGMU) in a press release state:

“It is a well known fact, that during the mating season, male dragons spout, at least 6 times per hour, 30 ft long flames from their nose. The artificially high concentration of male dragons in the Upper Tywi Valley, has resulted in an increase of 3 Deg. C in the annual average ambient temperature. This has resulted in an accelerated melting of Welsh Glaciers. This year the run off from the Llangadog Glacier together with the higher than average rain fall in August resulted in flooding of parts of the Lower Tywi Valley.”

One of the casualties of the flood was the Annual Virgins Dance. The dance thought to originate in ancient times, when a virgin was given as sacrifice to pacify the wroth of dragons roaming over the West Wales Mountains.

One of the dancers, Blodwyn Williams (aged 14), on hearing the dance had been cancelled, tearfully stated that she and her friends had been practicing for months, and had to wear chastity belts for three years to ensure they would participate in the dance. She said with the onset of winter, the poor TV reception and the chaffing of the belts, she feared she wouldn’t qualify to participate in next years dance.

A BBC spokesperson, categorically denied poor TV reception was due to transitional shock waves caused by low flying dragons. He stated that while TV transmission masts had not been designed to attenuate the effects of transitory shock waves, the conversion of Ferryside and Llanstephan to purely digital service had been pre-planned, and had nothing to do with low flying dragons.

Future neighbours of Prince Charles, John James John (aged 36) and his wife Gladys (aged 74) were pleased the Prince had purchased Llwynywormwood estate, they wished him well in his Bed & Breakfast business. Their only concern was “ if he does keep dragons we hope he will keep them under control, we have enough trouble with pigeons landing on our chimney”.

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