In the Dog House for wanting Broadband and grumpy about pavements (sidewalks)

I really have to be careful what I post on this blog.

My wife looked over my shoulder and saw I was considering switching to broadband. I was told in no uncertain terms, the only reason I was allowed to have Tesco Daytime dial up, was because the service terminates at 4pm. - she recons if I had broadband I would never get off “that machine”.

I do not consider my computer as “that Machine”. To me a machine needs to be oiled, has cogs and moving parts. OK a computer has a hard drive and cooling fans, but it’s not a machine.

She asked me lat week, if the house went on fire which would I rescue first, my computer or her? I made the mistake of thinking about the answer. I was in the dog house for days afterwards.

“Dog house“, I should be so lucky, if she looked after me half as well as she does her dog, I would be happy.

I’m concocting a plan, haven’t got all the details in place yet, but the scenario is convincing her that it would be to the dogs benefit if we had broadband - your assistance with the plan would be appreciated.

Today’s grump - no it’s not my wife - pavements (sidewalks).

Pavements are not there for pedestrians to walk safely on. How can they be safe, when they have been hijacked by cyclists? No.

The main reason for having pavements is to provide a money making machine for contractors (whose name predominately starts with Mc . . .).

A paving stone wobbles.
Along comes the contractor.
Lifts up the paving stone, throws a shovel full of sand under it, and puts back the paving stone.
Rain comes, washes away the sand.
A paving stone wobbles.
Along comes the contractor.
Lifts up the paving stone, throws a shovel full of sand under it, and puts back the paving stone.
Rain comes, washes away the sand. . . . .

And the contractor laughs all the way to the bank. With luck he might trip over one of his wobbling paving stones.