Saturday, 30 June 2007

YesBut that was the last week of June

People get problems thinking what to blog about. Writers block shouldn’t occur to the British – there’s always the weather to talk about! April was the warmest on record. In some parts of the country June has been the wettest. Last week was particularly bad with flash floods.

Last weekend was the annual mud bath, known as Glastonbury Music Festival. One of the surprise hits at this year’s festival was the geriatric Dame Shirley Bassey (She of the Gold Finger). The TV National News on Monday reported her helicopter taking here home from the gig had to make an emergency landing due to bad weather. And what’s more, wait for it Dame Shirley, asked a nearby householder if she could use their toilet. Wars all over the world, the Middle East in chaos and all British TV News can report is a sing peed!!

If Glastonbury attracts mud, then the All England Tennis Championship at Wimbledon attracts rain. This year the British were pinning their hopes on Andy Murray but he had to pull out before the tournament started with a bad wrist. Big gloom descended over the country – and I’m not only refereeing to the rain clouds. Then a miracle occurred, the written off former British No.1, Tim Henman managed to win a match. You should have heard the crowds “Come on Tim”, “We love you Tim2 – you would have thought he had won the Championship.

So he (I’m determined not to mention his name again) has finally departed and is no longer Prime Minister of Great Britain. At this point I’ll call for three cheers hip hip, hip hip, hip hip.

His last overseas act was to go and see the Pope. There are rumours that he (the former PM, not the Pope) is thinking of converting to be a Catholic. I assume he thinks being a catholic will give him a better chance of becoming a Saint. To become a saint you have had to have done one miracle. He missed out on his miracle in not finding WMDs in Iraq. If he does become a saint he will be known as Saint Anthony the Bringer of Death.

It is interesting to note that even at the start of the 21st century, its thought to be inappropriate to be a Catholic and British Prime Minister!

One advantage of his departure was, we also got rid of the "Fatman" on the right. He was the Deputy Prime Minister. He had two peaks in his political career. The first, during a general election campaign, when he landed a punch on the chin of a protester who had thrown an egg at him. The second, when he raised to the occasion, and was caught screwing his Appointment Secretary on his Ministerial office desk.

This is the last week when you can smoke in English pubs. A new law will come in force tomorrow banning smoking in enclosed areas and work places. I knew I should have invested in the company who makes nicotine patches. England is the last, Ireland & Scotland went smoke free last year and Wales in April.


B.T.Bear (esq.) said...

My caption of the week would be from the "3 amigo" picture:

Doug's suggested caption -

"Well amigos we made it across the border thanks to my shiny new sneakers.Hey lady..Got change for a dollar?A quarter?..Where you going?"

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