YesBut how can I speed up my computer?

One of my pastimes is to visit message boards especially those devoted to technical forums. I admit at the onset, I’m very much a dummy rather than a geek. But I like reading about Firebox extensions and Plugins, don’t understand a word of what I’m reading, but I admire people’s ingenuity and technical skills.

One of the main questions asked on message boards is “how can I speed up my computer?”

I have had YesBut’s computer boffins to address the problem, with the additional requirement it must be easily applied even by the most inept and computer illiterate person (i.e. me).

Edward de Bono, the pioneer of “lateral thinking” tackled a similar problem some years ago. The problem he had to address was:

For the fifteen minutes before the start of the workday at a large office block, and again at the end of the working day, large queues formed for the lifts (elevators). There was no room to install additional lifts, nor any method of speeding up the existing lifts. How could the congestion be relieved?

Phasing the starting times was one option, but it would have unacceptable disruptive effects on interdepartmental activities. The solution was simple and inexpensive. Mirrors were installed in all the lift lobbies. People were so busy looking at themselves in the mirror; they no longer noticed the time taken waiting for a lift.

So back to the speeding up a computer problem.

It takes about a minute from the time I switch on the computer to the time the Windows XP bing bong sounds and I can click to open my account. It then takes another three minutes to (I think the jargon is) boot-up, and I can surf the internet. So applying the mirror solution. I start up the computer, go into the kitchen fill the electric kettle and switch it on. Go back to the computer, click to open my account. Return to the kitchen and make my breakfast. Return to the computer which by then is up and running and ready to go.

That solution is OK at the start of the day, but what about during the day? There you are up and running wanting to post your blog, and your computer has sneaked off to its private dreamland. No problem, have a book of Sudoku puzzles at hand. Direct your attention to finding the missing numbers and forget about the computer. Or get yourself one of those executive desk toys - click your Newton’s Balls. Simple

Another thing you can do is click here see today’s YesBut’s Images, then when your computer has its little siesta, think about a caption.