Tuesday, 27 March 2007

Weekly shop.

Sunny crisp Tuesday morning, ideal for doing the weekly shop.

Clutching the shopping list, written in Mrs YesBut’s own fair hand, I go to the supermarket on Tuesday mornings. With a list I know (well can guess) what I need to buy. Typical items on a list:

Butter - the one I use for cooking


Vinegar - not the one for chips, but the one in a tall bottle with a green top

Soap powder - not the one you bought the last time, but the nice soapy one.

How can I go wrong? I have an image of the store in my head - first pickup the TV magazine, straight across the aisle collect flour, tea up to the end turn left collect eggs, down the next aisle peanut butter and marmalade across the main aisle for toilet-paper , , , , ,. It’s easy.

But not this morning. I heard those dreaded words coming from Mrs YesBut’s direction
“Do you want me to come with you?”.
Sounds like a question - answer definitely NO. But I’m not stupid, that was a declaration not a question.
“Yes, that would be great to have your help. Have you written a list?”
“There’s no need, I know what we want”.
The sun is shining but those words cast me into the deepest gloom.

Arrive at supermarket. First stop pickup TV magazine.
“Do we need tea?”
“Um I don’t think so”
“Flour?”
“No I think maybe we are alright for flour”.
We stand in the middle of the main aisle as Mrs YesBut tries to remember what she wants. She says decisively:
“Cheese, yogurt and butter”.
So off we go to the far end of the shop. But when we get there:
“We need Lemon & Ginger herbal tea”
“I asked if you wanted tea“
” You didn’t ask if we wanted herbal tea”
“But tea is tea”.
I leave Mrs YesBut standing blocking-up the aisle deciding which type of yogurt to buy, while I go back to collect herbal tea.

When I get back Mrs YesBut has disappeared, find her in the meat aisle.
“Did you bring Self raising flour?”
“You didn’t say you wanted flour!”
”Of course we need flour”.
Back I go again mutter, #*+#, mutter. When I get back she has disappeared once again. Find her, giving advice to a young mother on how to rear her baby.
“You’ve only brought one packet“
“Yes“
“Well as I’m here today to help you, you might as well get another packet of flour”
#+*$~#?&+#
“Well I’m only trying to help, it will be less for you to carry next week”.
If this continues I will not survive to see next week.
“Now before I wear a trench in the aisle, do you want plain as well as self raising, baking powder, sultanas, milk, sugar . . . .?”
“There’s no need to lose your temper, I’m not going to come and help you again”
“Yes please!!”.

The weekly shop which normally takes 15 minutes, is completed in just over an hour. But now I have to go back again, because we forgot to buy bread.

“Yes, dear I’ll switch off the computer, and go and buy bread”.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain, YesBut. I feel your pain.

UD

Anonymous said...

Yesbut,

I would never trust my husband to do the shopping, apart from the fact that he is the wage earner, ergo spend more money on crap that will not feed the family, but also because he doesn't have a driving licence and I have.

He will insist on following me with the trolley instead of leaving it parked up neatly out of the way.

Horses for courses i s'pose.

Meadow

YesBut said...

Underdome
Thanks for your sympathy.

YesBut said...

Hi Meadow
You complain your husband doesn’t park the trolley neatly. What do you expect, he hasn’t got a driving licence!! Give the poor bloke a chance.

Do you have a shopping list, or do you drag the poor feller behind you as you try to remember what to buy.

By the way good news about Wimbledon - hope they get promotion.

Best wishes
YB

Anonymous said...

Why do you need Mrs YesBut to write a list for you? Or to ask her what she wants? Don't you know what goes on in the kitchen in your own house? Or are you one of these men that expect every meal cooked for them and think that toilet rolls appear by magic?
If you did some of the cooking and housework, maybe you'd know what needed buying yourself!

B.T.Bear Esq. said...

You didn't mention the trolleys (trollies?) that only go left.

At our local Asda, they even have baskets that only go left.

YesBut said...

Baskets that go left. L.O.L.

eshop600 said...

Without the missus I can get round the whole supermarket in under 10 mins!