Monday, 15 January 2007

Erroneous Population Results

At the weekend the Director of NASA’s World Population Survey Programme (WPSP), had to admit all results published since 2005 were incorrect. This was due to a computer program glitch. The survey is performed by taking satellite images of every square metre of the Earths land surface. A count of the number of people seen at a location is used to predict the number of unseen people, i.e. those not directly visible to the satellite. Unfortunately no allowance had been made in the program for anomalies.

Regrettably the survey for London was done during the visit of the Chinese State Circus; an image of a Chinese acrobat with ten colleagues standing on his shoulder distorted the population density figures (PDFs) for central London. These were further distorted by incorporating into the final statistics PDFs based on the survey of Trafalgar Square taken the day after England had won the Ashes. The Director did point out validation of the survey results was performed using 2003 results, which coincidentally coincided with the return of the English Rugby team after winning the Rugby World Cup.

The Director announced the population of London is 12.56% less than previously stated, and 8.07% less for the whole of the UK.

Commenting on NASA’s statement, a Home Office spokesperson said:

“These figures confirm our own survey results, that the influx of Polish immigrants was grossly overestimated. In fact to date Home Office records show only 23 Polish nationals have entered the country since 2005. Though there are boxes with data awaiting validation”

Dr John Read stated he had asked Home Office officials what he should know, and was told nothing.

New Labour’s Chairman, Hazel Blear, stated at a protest against closing her local hospital.

“I am very pleased that such a renowned organisation as NASA has provided unequivocally evidence of this Government’s achievements since 1997. The National Health Service is safe in this Governments hands. Further let it be a warning for those who think David Cameron is capable of making hard decisions”

A spokesperson for Friends of the Earth said:

“The decrease in the population of London confirms the existence of global warming. Fair skinned residents of London have had to move north to prevent sun burns.”

Liberty’s Director Shami Chakrabarti interviewed on BBC demanded a Public Enquiry into the missing persons. She stated this was yet further proof of the USA Extraordinary-Rendition Program.

Asked what steps would be taken to prevent a similar errors, NASA’s WPSP Director stated, surveys would not be performed on the day the English Cricket Team returned from Australia, or from the ICC Cricket World Cup, or on the day the England Rugby Team returns from the Rugby World Cup, as the results would underestimate Central London’s population.

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