Friday, 26 January 2007

Becoming brain dead

A five month old baby comes to stay, and your whole life is changed.

Five month old children have a very limited repertoire they: eat, shit, puke, cry and laugh. All very simple, but that laugh is so powerful. More affective than any argument a great orator can produce. And the smile can melt hearts.

I now appreciate why parents and grandparents become brain dead in the presence of their offspring. A child runs around being disruptive, and the mother has a look of joy on her face:

“Look at my wonderful child, isn’t he so clever and funny, never been a child like him before, absolutely perfect”, “Why are people so intolerant? My child is doing no harm, he’s just shouting, screaming and running around, that’s what children do.”

Taking my granddaughter for a walk in her pram, I caught my self thinking,

“Look at her, isn’t she perfect? Look at her smiling at you".

My whole ethos as a grumpy old fart is challenged, I find myself mutating into a doting grandparent. There is only one known antidote; I have to get myself to a supermarket to scowl at young mothers and their pesky kids.

But lets be fair, unlike al those brats, my granddaughter is so perfect, even when she puked over the carpet it was a joy to watch.

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