Wednesday, 10 January 2007

Entertaining bus journey

Yesterday morning, on the way back from the supermarket, at a bus-stop and a very attractive well dressed young black woman got on. She showed her bus pass to the driver and explained that it had run out and she was on the way to renew it. Behind her, in the queue trying to get on the bus, were two rotund women, I guess they were about 70 years old. It was obvious as soon as they spoke they were of Jamaican origin.

They were soon in full flow:

“Eh Girl, see she, dam fool think she get on bus with no pass.”

“Eh, you hear she, she say she pass run out on Sunday, she dam stupid ,today Tuesday.”

“Eh, come driver me and my friend wants go home, man this shopping heavy”.

“Dam stupid girl”.

Under the barrage, the young woman made a sheepish retreat off the bus.

For the next five minutes I heard outbursts from the back of the bus.

“Eh, Girl you see her coat, these young girls spend all money on cloths, and think driver give them free ride, dam stupid”.

They only stopped talking about her when the bus got caught in a traffic jam.

“Eh Girl, me wants to get home, where all dis traffic come from?”

“Me not know”.

After nearly half an hour of stop start progress, the cause of the traffic jam came into view. Four yards before traffic lights at a very busy road junction a car stood three feet out from the pavement. So instead of two traffic lanes at the lights there was only one.

“Eh Girl, dam stupid place to park car”.

“No Girl, car must have broke down.”

Next thing an old man came doddering and farting along the pavement. He tried to open the door of the car but it was locked. Next thing he started knocking the window, to wake his wife to open the door. The grumpy old fart had parked in the middle of the road while he had gone to the Post Office. My efforts as a Grumpy Old Fart to annoy people in supermarkets shrinks into insignificance compared to his actions.

Isn’t it nice to think, that even though you are in your twilight years, you can still bring traffic in a large city to a crawl.

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