In my last blog I quite rightly ranted about the distinctly unuser friendly nature of some computer programs. They freeze up your computer and give no indication of whether they are working or not. Then at the end you find out the bloody thing wasn’t working at all.
So I’m really delighted to sing the praise of a program. I found it purely by chance, often the best way. Serendipity can bring joy into your life. I was looking for a free download program to burn DVDs, when I came across reference to Google Earth.
Firstly Google Earth needs broadband connection - if you don’t have broadband, do not read further, because you will only feel disappointed and frustrated at not being able to access the program.
What does it do? Using satellite photographs the program constructs a global image of the Earth. The first image you see is the Earth rotating in space. Enter your home address into the search box, click and watch the Earth rotate then zoom in on your house.
The final image does depend on your location. London is so detailed that you can zoom in to see people walking on bridges across the Thames. While the image of East Wales is on par with that of London, West Wales is fuzzy - but nevertheless even relatively small geographical features can be identified.
Not only can you zoom in but you can also tilt the image to replicate the view of flying over the surface. 3D models have been constructed of some locations. Click on the 3D feature, then select to tour Manhattan Island- fly up Broadway dodge between the skyscrapers. Visit India then zoom off to New Zealand.
Added features which makes Google Earth a brilliant educational tool, are photos of locations posted by users. Links to Wikipedia to provide background information. A community has grown up around the program, with enthusiasts building 3D models of buildings and geographical features.
If you prefer travelling beyond the confines of the Earth, you can download Celestia which will enable you to tour the Universe.
Tuesday, 30 January 2007
Sunday, 28 January 2007
Dysfunctional Computer Programs
I have a USB Digital Video box that I plug into my laptop to view TV programmes.
The trouble is it comes with a totally incomprehensible manual. I think it was written in Chinese then translated into Korean before being translated into an obscure language which didn’t have words for relevant instructions then finally translated into English by a non-English speaking translator. In other words its crap.
So it was quite an achievement to get the dam thing to work. It does have a feature to record programmes, and allegedly a program to convert the recording into a format which will allow it to be recorded on DVD. I say allegedly because it doesn’t #*!^ work.
Some months ago I recorded a TV program I would like to keep, but as it is taking up a hefty chunk of hard drive I would like to record it on a DVD. I sought the help of Technical Experts on a message board, who advised me to download a burner program. Downloaded the program, again it came with, being generous, terse instructions. But the thing that really pisses me off with the program was it had no indication if it was working or not. I clicked on the start button, and the only thing that gave any indication that anything was happening was a flickering blue light on the laptop. Not only did the bloody program not give any indication of whether it was doing anything, but it froze up the computer so that it prevented it from doing anything but blink. Two hours later it kindly informed me it was transcoding. Two hours later it said it was Building a DVD image, what ever that might be. Two hours later, (yes I sat there for over six bloody hours), the screen showed the desktop background and nothing else. No short cut icons, zilch. What the #*!^ was happening. Ten minutes later the desktop opened, and would you believe it the DVD burning program wasn’t running. I wasted over six hours of my life on a dysfunctional #*!^ computer program.
If anybody reads this, and you know how to record a MPEG2 file onto DVD then please let me know.
The trouble is it comes with a totally incomprehensible manual. I think it was written in Chinese then translated into Korean before being translated into an obscure language which didn’t have words for relevant instructions then finally translated into English by a non-English speaking translator. In other words its crap.
So it was quite an achievement to get the dam thing to work. It does have a feature to record programmes, and allegedly a program to convert the recording into a format which will allow it to be recorded on DVD. I say allegedly because it doesn’t #*!^ work.
Some months ago I recorded a TV program I would like to keep, but as it is taking up a hefty chunk of hard drive I would like to record it on a DVD. I sought the help of Technical Experts on a message board, who advised me to download a burner program. Downloaded the program, again it came with, being generous, terse instructions. But the thing that really pisses me off with the program was it had no indication if it was working or not. I clicked on the start button, and the only thing that gave any indication that anything was happening was a flickering blue light on the laptop. Not only did the bloody program not give any indication of whether it was doing anything, but it froze up the computer so that it prevented it from doing anything but blink. Two hours later it kindly informed me it was transcoding. Two hours later it said it was Building a DVD image, what ever that might be. Two hours later, (yes I sat there for over six bloody hours), the screen showed the desktop background and nothing else. No short cut icons, zilch. What the #*!^ was happening. Ten minutes later the desktop opened, and would you believe it the DVD burning program wasn’t running. I wasted over six hours of my life on a dysfunctional #*!^ computer program.
If anybody reads this, and you know how to record a MPEG2 file onto DVD then please let me know.
Friday, 26 January 2007
Becoming brain dead
A five month old baby comes to stay, and your whole life is changed.
Five month old children have a very limited repertoire they: eat, shit, puke, cry and laugh. All very simple, but that laugh is so powerful. More affective than any argument a great orator can produce. And the smile can melt hearts.
I now appreciate why parents and grandparents become brain dead in the presence of their offspring. A child runs around being disruptive, and the mother has a look of joy on her face:
“Look at my wonderful child, isn’t he so clever and funny, never been a child like him before, absolutely perfect”, “Why are people so intolerant? My child is doing no harm, he’s just shouting, screaming and running around, that’s what children do.”
Taking my granddaughter for a walk in her pram, I caught my self thinking,
“Look at her, isn’t she perfect? Look at her smiling at you".
My whole ethos as a grumpy old fart is challenged, I find myself mutating into a doting grandparent. There is only one known antidote; I have to get myself to a supermarket to scowl at young mothers and their pesky kids.
But lets be fair, unlike al those brats, my granddaughter is so perfect, even when she puked over the carpet it was a joy to watch.
Five month old children have a very limited repertoire they: eat, shit, puke, cry and laugh. All very simple, but that laugh is so powerful. More affective than any argument a great orator can produce. And the smile can melt hearts.
I now appreciate why parents and grandparents become brain dead in the presence of their offspring. A child runs around being disruptive, and the mother has a look of joy on her face:
“Look at my wonderful child, isn’t he so clever and funny, never been a child like him before, absolutely perfect”, “Why are people so intolerant? My child is doing no harm, he’s just shouting, screaming and running around, that’s what children do.”
Taking my granddaughter for a walk in her pram, I caught my self thinking,
“Look at her, isn’t she perfect? Look at her smiling at you".
My whole ethos as a grumpy old fart is challenged, I find myself mutating into a doting grandparent. There is only one known antidote; I have to get myself to a supermarket to scowl at young mothers and their pesky kids.
But lets be fair, unlike al those brats, my granddaughter is so perfect, even when she puked over the carpet it was a joy to watch.
Thursday, 18 January 2007
Speechless
Yesterday was the first time in my life that I was truly struck dumb.
At about 11.30 am the door bell rang, I opened the door to see a baby in her pram abandoned in front of the flat door. My mind went into a whirl trying to identify possible reasons for a baby to be left in front of the door, the only logical conclusion was it had been left outside the wrong flat, and the mother had gone to get something from a car.
But . . . . but there was something very familiar about the baby. Then I heard some giggling from around the corner by the lifts. My daughter and son-in-law poped their heads around the corner.
You might ask why I didn’t recognise my own granddaughter. My excuse/reason:
We had only seen her soon after she was born and that was four months ago when she was only one month old. Believe me there is a big difference between a one month and a five month baby. Also we had spoken to them the day before and they had said they would phone on Friday on my wife’s birthday. I should add that they do not live in the UK, so we only get to see each other once or twice a year.
So to see the three of them before me, rally struck me speechless.
Subsequently we found out, my wife and I were the only members of the family who didn’t know about the visit. The flights had been booked five weeks ago, and all the family sworn, on the penalty of retribution, to secrecy.
What a brilliant surprise and no better birthday present than a visit of your first grandchild.
At about 11.30 am the door bell rang, I opened the door to see a baby in her pram abandoned in front of the flat door. My mind went into a whirl trying to identify possible reasons for a baby to be left in front of the door, the only logical conclusion was it had been left outside the wrong flat, and the mother had gone to get something from a car.
But . . . . but there was something very familiar about the baby. Then I heard some giggling from around the corner by the lifts. My daughter and son-in-law poped their heads around the corner.
You might ask why I didn’t recognise my own granddaughter. My excuse/reason:
We had only seen her soon after she was born and that was four months ago when she was only one month old. Believe me there is a big difference between a one month and a five month baby. Also we had spoken to them the day before and they had said they would phone on Friday on my wife’s birthday. I should add that they do not live in the UK, so we only get to see each other once or twice a year.
So to see the three of them before me, rally struck me speechless.
Subsequently we found out, my wife and I were the only members of the family who didn’t know about the visit. The flights had been booked five weeks ago, and all the family sworn, on the penalty of retribution, to secrecy.
What a brilliant surprise and no better birthday present than a visit of your first grandchild.
Tuesday, 16 January 2007
Doctors
General Practitioners (GPs) now earn on average £120,000 per year. I gather the level of pay rise they received was all a mistake. They were meant to get 2% but got double. Because they were only going to get a 2% pay rise, as compensation the Government agreed to cut their working hours. As it turned out they doubled their salary and halved the hours they work.
In the good old days GPs’ really earned their salary. Morning and evening surgery, house visits during the day and call outs during the night. As a child I dreaded visiting the Doctors surgery. In those days they didn’t have an appointment system, you had to wait your turn. Quite a complicated process in a practice with seven doctors. First you had to identify who was waiting to see the same doctor, and your position in the queue.
“Are you waiting to see Doctor Williams?”, “No”,
“Are you waiting to see Doctor Williams?”, “Yes”.
“Good, then I’m before you and after that man sitting over there”.
Going to the surgery was like being sucked into a Black-hole, you really never knew when or if you would get out again.
But as I said in those days Doctors really worked hard. A Doctor was even more than being ‘Your Doctor’ he, and it was predominantly he, was ‘the Family Doctor’. He would have been there at your birth, when you had measels, mumps and chickenpox. If you had been taken ill at 2.00am he would be there uncomplainingly to comfort you.
How things have changed. Now you are never sure which doctor you will see. Yes you can make an appointment to see a specific doctor, but you will have to wait up to a week or more. Go to the surgery,
“I’d like to make an appointment to see Dr Blake”, “He’s away for four weeks holiday”.
Phone up to speak to him, “sorry he doesn’t work on Thursdays”. If you do manage to see him, the treatment you get, well I call it treatment, is laughable.
“Well I see you had no problem climbing up the stairs to see me”.
“Can’t be anything serious”.
“If things don’t improve in three weeks, make an appointment to see me again”
“If you get pain, take an Asprin”.
“Goodmorning, send the next patient in”.
What happens to those patients who cannot climb the stairs to the doctors consulting room? Simple, the receptionist gives them a list of Funeral Directors.
Two o’clock in the morning, gasping for breath, at deaths door, you phone the doctor. An answering machine gives you a telephone number of an agency who provides out of hours cover. You phone, give your symptoms. Your given a choice:
You could insist that the doctor makes a house call. Three hours later he turns up, gives you an Asprin and tells you to go and see your own doctor in the morning.
I suppose I should be grateful I can still climb the stairs to the consulting room.
In the good old days GPs’ really earned their salary. Morning and evening surgery, house visits during the day and call outs during the night. As a child I dreaded visiting the Doctors surgery. In those days they didn’t have an appointment system, you had to wait your turn. Quite a complicated process in a practice with seven doctors. First you had to identify who was waiting to see the same doctor, and your position in the queue.
“Are you waiting to see Doctor Williams?”, “No”,
“Are you waiting to see Doctor Williams?”, “Yes”.
“Good, then I’m before you and after that man sitting over there”.
Going to the surgery was like being sucked into a Black-hole, you really never knew when or if you would get out again.
But as I said in those days Doctors really worked hard. A Doctor was even more than being ‘Your Doctor’ he, and it was predominantly he, was ‘the Family Doctor’. He would have been there at your birth, when you had measels, mumps and chickenpox. If you had been taken ill at 2.00am he would be there uncomplainingly to comfort you.
How things have changed. Now you are never sure which doctor you will see. Yes you can make an appointment to see a specific doctor, but you will have to wait up to a week or more. Go to the surgery,
“I’d like to make an appointment to see Dr Blake”, “He’s away for four weeks holiday”.
Phone up to speak to him, “sorry he doesn’t work on Thursdays”. If you do manage to see him, the treatment you get, well I call it treatment, is laughable.
“Well I see you had no problem climbing up the stairs to see me”.
“Can’t be anything serious”.
“If things don’t improve in three weeks, make an appointment to see me again”
“If you get pain, take an Asprin”.
“Goodmorning, send the next patient in”.
What happens to those patients who cannot climb the stairs to the doctors consulting room? Simple, the receptionist gives them a list of Funeral Directors.
Two o’clock in the morning, gasping for breath, at deaths door, you phone the doctor. An answering machine gives you a telephone number of an agency who provides out of hours cover. You phone, give your symptoms. Your given a choice:
- Take an Asprin, and hope you survive until the morning, to go to the surgery.
- Call an ambulance to take you to an A&E Department, there you wait 4 hours to see a doctor, who tells you to take an Asprin, and go and see your own doctor.
You could insist that the doctor makes a house call. Three hours later he turns up, gives you an Asprin and tells you to go and see your own doctor in the morning.
I suppose I should be grateful I can still climb the stairs to the consulting room.
Monday, 15 January 2007
Erroneous Population Results
At the weekend the Director of NASA’s World Population Survey Programme (WPSP), had to admit all results published since 2005 were incorrect. This was due to a computer program glitch. The survey is performed by taking satellite images of every square metre of the Earths land surface. A count of the number of people seen at a location is used to predict the number of unseen people, i.e. those not directly visible to the satellite. Unfortunately no allowance had been made in the program for anomalies.
Regrettably the survey for London was done during the visit of the Chinese State Circus; an image of a Chinese acrobat with ten colleagues standing on his shoulder distorted the population density figures (PDFs) for central London. These were further distorted by incorporating into the final statistics PDFs based on the survey of Trafalgar Square taken the day after England had won the Ashes. The Director did point out validation of the survey results was performed using 2003 results, which coincidentally coincided with the return of the English Rugby team after winning the Rugby World Cup.
The Director announced the population of London is 12.56% less than previously stated, and 8.07% less for the whole of the UK.
Commenting on NASA’s statement, a Home Office spokesperson said:
“These figures confirm our own survey results, that the influx of Polish immigrants was grossly overestimated. In fact to date Home Office records show only 23 Polish nationals have entered the country since 2005. Though there are boxes with data awaiting validation”
Dr John Read stated he had asked Home Office officials what he should know, and was told nothing.
New Labour’s Chairman, Hazel Blear, stated at a protest against closing her local hospital.
“I am very pleased that such a renowned organisation as NASA has provided unequivocally evidence of this Government’s achievements since 1997. The National Health Service is safe in this Governments hands. Further let it be a warning for those who think David Cameron is capable of making hard decisions”
A spokesperson for Friends of the Earth said:
“The decrease in the population of London confirms the existence of global warming. Fair skinned residents of London have had to move north to prevent sun burns.”
Liberty’s Director Shami Chakrabarti interviewed on BBC demanded a Public Enquiry into the missing persons. She stated this was yet further proof of the USA Extraordinary-Rendition Program.
Asked what steps would be taken to prevent a similar errors, NASA’s WPSP Director stated, surveys would not be performed on the day the English Cricket Team returned from Australia, or from the ICC Cricket World Cup, or on the day the England Rugby Team returns from the Rugby World Cup, as the results would underestimate Central London’s population.
Regrettably the survey for London was done during the visit of the Chinese State Circus; an image of a Chinese acrobat with ten colleagues standing on his shoulder distorted the population density figures (PDFs) for central London. These were further distorted by incorporating into the final statistics PDFs based on the survey of Trafalgar Square taken the day after England had won the Ashes. The Director did point out validation of the survey results was performed using 2003 results, which coincidentally coincided with the return of the English Rugby team after winning the Rugby World Cup.
The Director announced the population of London is 12.56% less than previously stated, and 8.07% less for the whole of the UK.
Commenting on NASA’s statement, a Home Office spokesperson said:
“These figures confirm our own survey results, that the influx of Polish immigrants was grossly overestimated. In fact to date Home Office records show only 23 Polish nationals have entered the country since 2005. Though there are boxes with data awaiting validation”
Dr John Read stated he had asked Home Office officials what he should know, and was told nothing.
New Labour’s Chairman, Hazel Blear, stated at a protest against closing her local hospital.
“I am very pleased that such a renowned organisation as NASA has provided unequivocally evidence of this Government’s achievements since 1997. The National Health Service is safe in this Governments hands. Further let it be a warning for those who think David Cameron is capable of making hard decisions”
A spokesperson for Friends of the Earth said:
“The decrease in the population of London confirms the existence of global warming. Fair skinned residents of London have had to move north to prevent sun burns.”
Liberty’s Director Shami Chakrabarti interviewed on BBC demanded a Public Enquiry into the missing persons. She stated this was yet further proof of the USA Extraordinary-Rendition Program.
Asked what steps would be taken to prevent a similar errors, NASA’s WPSP Director stated, surveys would not be performed on the day the English Cricket Team returned from Australia, or from the ICC Cricket World Cup, or on the day the England Rugby Team returns from the Rugby World Cup, as the results would underestimate Central London’s population.
Sunday, 14 January 2007
Dangerous Fingers
When I am looking at a web page and it asks, “Do you want to send a message?” I click on yes, and somehow a little box pops-up for me to type a message. It shows the message will be sent from my internet provider email account. But I never use that account, it attracts SPAM like cow shit attracts flies. I want to use my Googlemail account.
This morning I was looking at resetting the default setting, or whatever the correct expression is. Don’t know what I did, but next thing I know a box pops up with that bar which shows the progress of installing something. There to my horror was: Internet Explorer being uninstalled, Internet Explorer uninstalled, Outlook Express being uninstalled followed by Outlook Express uninstalled. Panic (an understatement of what I was feeling at that moment).
Clicked on Start then tried to open Set Program Access and Defaults nothing. Now I really was pannicing. It looked as if I had completely wiped from my computer Outlook Express (which wasn’t such a tragic event as I do not use it), and Internet Explorer (which I do use). Not the way to start a day. No good swearing at the computer, never does any good, invariably results in the computer sulking and going on strike for the rest of the day. The normal thing to do is switch the computer off and on again, but in this case it could result in the computer when shutting down saving the new unwanted settings.
Kept my head, went onto Jezza’s Exiles Online Message Board, Technical/Computer & Web Links. Left a message requesting help. Within minutes Ian Mac had posted the solution, and I recovered the programs. What a relief. But I never learn. I keep clicking on things I shouldn’t just to see what happens. In my case disaster. But in the case of pubescent geegs they get deep into the heart of some highly restricted and allegedly highly secure system.
Is it an age thing? Are grumpy and farting old fogies incapable of understanding the intricacies of computers?
This morning I was looking at resetting the default setting, or whatever the correct expression is. Don’t know what I did, but next thing I know a box pops up with that bar which shows the progress of installing something. There to my horror was: Internet Explorer being uninstalled, Internet Explorer uninstalled, Outlook Express being uninstalled followed by Outlook Express uninstalled. Panic (an understatement of what I was feeling at that moment).
Clicked on Start then tried to open Set Program Access and Defaults nothing. Now I really was pannicing. It looked as if I had completely wiped from my computer Outlook Express (which wasn’t such a tragic event as I do not use it), and Internet Explorer (which I do use). Not the way to start a day. No good swearing at the computer, never does any good, invariably results in the computer sulking and going on strike for the rest of the day. The normal thing to do is switch the computer off and on again, but in this case it could result in the computer when shutting down saving the new unwanted settings.
Kept my head, went onto Jezza’s Exiles Online Message Board, Technical/Computer & Web Links. Left a message requesting help. Within minutes Ian Mac had posted the solution, and I recovered the programs. What a relief. But I never learn. I keep clicking on things I shouldn’t just to see what happens. In my case disaster. But in the case of pubescent geegs they get deep into the heart of some highly restricted and allegedly highly secure system.
Is it an age thing? Are grumpy and farting old fogies incapable of understanding the intricacies of computers?
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