Friday, 2 February 2007

Internet Message Boards

What is it about BBC message boards that make people want to return to them, day after day. Even boards that do not cover subjects of interest have a particular allure.

Close knit communities develop around some Boards; strangers post there at their peril. It’s the equivalent of the deathly silence that envelopes a bar when a stranger walks in. Yet back they go to see what the conversation is about. No, actually that isn’t correct. In most cases there isn’t a conversation. Most of the posters are in transmit mode with the received function inhibited. There is no exchange of views, its individuals trying to prove how clever they are, or bitter and twisted middle aged men trying to get rid of their angst. Then there are the bored housewives seeking attention, much safer seeking solace on the internet than being screwed by the milkman - not that there are many milkmen left.

That’s another thing supermarkets can be blamed for. Selling milk at such a low price not only drives farmers to the point of bankruptcy, but has put hundreds of dairies out of business. There must be thousands of British housewives sexually frustrated as the result of the closure of dairies - no milkmen to flirt with of the front door step. So in the absence of milkmen housewives turn to the internet for their titillation, cheeky conversation.

Then there are the board secretaries in their office, looking blankly at their computer screen, feeling very adventurous if they post on a board. With luck they can strike-up a dialogue with a lonely gay window dresser, all perfectly innocent - just “girl” talk.

Specialist Boards, particularly Religious or New Age - attract the self appointed Gurus, who pontificate to their imagined devotees. The only entertainment provided by these Boards occurs when there is a clash of Gurus. Then religious piety is thrown out of the window, replaced by venomous abuse.

How the human race has changed, from hunter gatherers working collectively as a tribe, to lonely individuals with only a computer keyboard for company.

3 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

"How the human race has changed, from hunter gatherers working collectively as a tribe, to lonely individuals with only a computer keyboard for company."

Yeah, but the hunter gatherers weren't so great. Those that escaped the lions got fucked by the baboons. And they had terrible skin. Some of my best friends are humans with computers

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