Nice crisp fresh morning.
Just been out for a walk - glad I’m still capable of walking - Horny Goat Weed - thought I’d acquired a built-in walking stick!
Saw a family going for a walk: husband, wife and four children - oldest about 15, youngest in a pram.
What struck me was the father. Haircut looked like a hairy piece of carpet balanced on a shaved head. Rings in eyebrow, nose and ear. Cloths undistinguishable from those of his sons.
How things have changed in the last 50 ~ 60 years. Back then each generation had its own dress code.
I never knew my Grandmothers, but I was close to my friend’s Gran. For the twenty years I knew her, she always looked old. Dressed in black, with a hat perched on her head.
Its only natural for adults to look old to children, but even now looking at old photographs, to me the people back then still look old.
How things have changed. “In the good Old Days” Doctors looked like Doctors, today they look like Outward Bound Canoe Instructors with open necked checked shirts.
Told you about the wife going for a Flu jab.
The Nurse came out of her room, called out a name. No movement. Called out the name again, slight stirring. She turned to a woman, “Are you *** *****”,
“Yes, but I’m waiting to see the nurse”,
“I am the Nurse”
“You are the NURSE?”
“Yes”
The woman looked at her friend and silently mouth questioningly, she’s the nurse?
I wasn’t surprised by the woman’s reaction
The nurse had on trainers with tight hipsters finishing half way down her calf, revealing red and black hooped socks. Skimp top, revealing a broad band of midriff with ring in naval. No bra. Short cropped hair with one eye and one nose ring. The patients weren’t expecting her to wear a uniform, but this??
What would my friend’s Grandmother think about the way some middle-aged women dress now?
What the hell, some +50year old women get egg implants, so they can have kids. Come on act your age!!!
Showing posts with label doctor surgery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doctor surgery. Show all posts
Saturday, 23 December 2006
Saturday, 16 December 2006
Super market Pranks
Few days ago went with the wife to the Doctor’s Surgery. She had a 10 o’clock appointment for a flu jab. I don’t qualify for one (deemed to be expendable - kill the old men off first).
She had to wait until past 11 o’clock. We were sharing the section of the Waiting Room set aside for the Emergency Clinic. (If you haven’t got an appointment, you wait there for hours to see a Doctor). Most of the people there should have been in bed.
Try phoning up to get a Doctor to make a home visit. You have to have a certificate signed by 10 Doctors certifying you are too ill to attend the surgery, before a Doctor agrees to make a home visit.
People coughing and wheezing all over the place. One poor woman lying across two chairs.
The result - last night started coughing, sweating, shivering - I got the BL**DY flu!!!!
What’s worse it’s Saturday. I had planned to make a visit today to at least three supermarkets.
Walk around with my empty trolley, block the aisle. Ask young mothers (especially ones with unruly kids) to hand down items from the top shelf, take one look at the item, hand them back and walk away. Never say sorry or give an explanation. Even the most placid get annoyed by that. (I hear them “muter muter ignorant old man”).
Buy only one item in each store, (I do my weekly shop on Tuesday morning, - hardly any parents with kids or old people around - I‘m not stupid).
Where was I? Buy one item in each and pay by cheque. You can’t imagine the queue you can build-up behind you when you pay by cheque. Few minutes searching every pocket for the cheque book. With luck the Check-out Attendant hasn’t a pen - always good for another couple of minutes. Then look for your glasses. All the time you must turn around and look at the ever increasing queue and smile. That really gets them really really annoyed when you smile.
On a good day, I recon I can (unknowing to them) recruit 4 youngones per queue to the “Grumpy Training Scheme”.
It gives a great sense of satisfaction when you know you have recruited the next generation of Grumpy Old Farts. You were there at the start of a lifetime of complaining and general indignation
But here I am suck indoors with a thermometer stuck up my bum!! One good fart and I could shoot the wife right between the eyes. It’s her fault in the first place that I got the flu. (Why is the thermometer stuck in my arse not in my mouth - my wife says that‘s the place you have to put it - she saw it done that way on a vet programme on TV).
She had to wait until past 11 o’clock. We were sharing the section of the Waiting Room set aside for the Emergency Clinic. (If you haven’t got an appointment, you wait there for hours to see a Doctor). Most of the people there should have been in bed.
Try phoning up to get a Doctor to make a home visit. You have to have a certificate signed by 10 Doctors certifying you are too ill to attend the surgery, before a Doctor agrees to make a home visit.
People coughing and wheezing all over the place. One poor woman lying across two chairs.
The result - last night started coughing, sweating, shivering - I got the BL**DY flu!!!!
What’s worse it’s Saturday. I had planned to make a visit today to at least three supermarkets.
Walk around with my empty trolley, block the aisle. Ask young mothers (especially ones with unruly kids) to hand down items from the top shelf, take one look at the item, hand them back and walk away. Never say sorry or give an explanation. Even the most placid get annoyed by that. (I hear them “muter muter ignorant old man”).
Buy only one item in each store, (I do my weekly shop on Tuesday morning, - hardly any parents with kids or old people around - I‘m not stupid).
Where was I? Buy one item in each and pay by cheque. You can’t imagine the queue you can build-up behind you when you pay by cheque. Few minutes searching every pocket for the cheque book. With luck the Check-out Attendant hasn’t a pen - always good for another couple of minutes. Then look for your glasses. All the time you must turn around and look at the ever increasing queue and smile. That really gets them really really annoyed when you smile.
On a good day, I recon I can (unknowing to them) recruit 4 youngones per queue to the “Grumpy Training Scheme”.
It gives a great sense of satisfaction when you know you have recruited the next generation of Grumpy Old Farts. You were there at the start of a lifetime of complaining and general indignation
But here I am suck indoors with a thermometer stuck up my bum!! One good fart and I could shoot the wife right between the eyes. It’s her fault in the first place that I got the flu. (Why is the thermometer stuck in my arse not in my mouth - my wife says that‘s the place you have to put it - she saw it done that way on a vet programme on TV).
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