YesBut that was the second week of July

The week started with a sporting fiesta: Tennis at Wimbledon, Cycling, Le Tour De France in London and if that wasn’t enough F1, British Grand Prix from Silverston.

After two months of rain, thank goodness there was sunshine for the cycling - and a good time was had by all.

On Monday, it was nice to have some sunshine to walk along the Thames to Tower Bridge to see the Gibson Guitar Town London 2007 exhibition. Thirty 10 foot Gibson Les Paul guitars are displayed around More London, by Tower Bridge. Each guitar is signed by the associated musician to authenticate and endorse their own individual guitar. Click here to read more.

Both the Tour De France and the Gibson exhibition provided ample photo opportunities. Though cyclists passing at 30MPH doesn’t give much time to frame the shot, focus and shoot. Especially when using a digital camera you have to press the shutter button in advance in the hope cyclists will be in the frame when the shutter opens.

In the middle of the week Mrs YesBut gave me the traditional Indian dish dhal to eat, (made from split yellow peas). A very appropriate dish for this blog - the result was a cacophony of continuous farting. As a result I realised President Bush is correct; the answer to Global Warming isn’t through applying restrictions on the use of carbon based fuels in the West but by banning the Indians eating dhal.

Think about it, there are an estimated 1,129,866,154 (the figure comes from CIA - The World Factbook - India - why one thousand one hundred and twenty-nine million, eight hundred and sixty six thousand and one hundred and fifty four why not one thousand one hundred and twenty-nine million, eight hundred and sixty six thousand and one hundred and fifty five or one thousand one hundred and twenty-nine million, eight hundred and sixty six thousand and one hundred and fifty six?).

Back to Global Warming - there are over one billion Indians all eating dhal and as a result farting greenhouse gasses! Not only that - fact a cow emits more greenhouse gases in a day than a car!!

What do they have roaming all over India? Sacred cows! The combination of dhal and sacred cows must result in a massive hole in the ozone layer above India, which will inevitably result in an increase in temperature with the resultant melting of the Himalayan snow - disaster!

But to be even-handed if India is required to get rid of its sacred cows, then it has a right to demand a quid pro quo and America must stop making cowboy films.

And finally don't forget to vote for the Caption of the Week posted on YesBut’s Images on 7th to 13th July.

YesBut that was the last week in May

Finish the work in 48 weeks, that's a laugh, he’s been trying to open that umbrella for nearly five months.

Monday was Spring Bank Holiday, as I explained in Monday's blog the London Tourist industry employs shamans to do a rain dance to ensure the weather is so ghastly that it forces tourists, in order to get out of the rain, to dig deep in their pockets and pay to get into cinemas, theatres and other tourist traps (sorry I mean attractions). Just for the fun of it, last Monday the shamans while dancing also did a gusty wind chant!

Somehow amongst the rain England managed to beat the West Indies at cricket. For the benefit of USA readers, cricket is a sport played between two teams each with 11 men dressed in white. They hang around for five days while another two men dressed in white coats decide whether the “light” is good enough to play. If “bad light” is declared both teams go into a pavilion to play cards, watch TV, listen to MP3 players, and play practical jokes on each other. If the “light” is declared good, one team throws a ball at two of the other team members, until “bad light” is declared again. A “Test Match” played between two countries is even more effective than a rain dance at ensuring bad weather.

I’ve nothing to say about Tuesday and Wednesday, I’m not sure if this is because nothing of note happened; or I was so cold on Monday I got hyperthermia and slept through the next two days.

Thursday morning I decided to stick my head out from under the bed covers. It looked dark and grim, ducked back under the bedclothes, turned over and went back to sleep. It was only when Mrs YesBut forced me out of bed on Thursday afternoon that I realised the woollen cap I had been wearing to keep my head warm in bed, had slipped over my eyes, and the sun was shinning outside.

On Thursday schools in England were given the legal right to search pupils who are suspected of carrying knives. That news surprised me, I thought they had always had the right - evidently not, it seems if a teacher thought a pupil had a knife they would have to notify the police who would come to the school to search the suspect. Mind that might not have been a bad idea, I wouldn’t like to be a teacher searching one of these young thugs for a knife - “so you want my knife, here have it” right in your heart!! What went wrong? Where are the long lost days when the only dubious object in a schoolboy’s pocket was a length of string, a whistle, a packet of itching powder and a frog?

So President George W Bush has just discovered Global Warming, and is urging countries to agree on long-term goals for greenhouse gas emissions. The mans a genius. That’s why he beat Al Gore - poor Al could never get his head around problems affecting the environment Next thing he’ll discover Saddam Hussein didn’t have weapons of mass destruction.

Next Wednesday I will be posting the first blog in a series on memorials and public sculptures. Yesterday Westminster Council said they were going to place restrictions on further statues being placed in central London. That shouldn’t place too much of a restriction on the blog, there’s already +350 in Westminster, then there’s the rest of London, UK and the World.

It was forty years ago yesterday that the “Fab Four” Beatle’s iconic LP “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band" was released. It remained in the number 1 position of the Billboard 200 for 15 weeks, it topped the UK Albums Chart for 27 weeks and the Australian Albums Chart for 30 weeks. This year the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame awarded it the “Most Definitive Rock and Roll Album”. They just don’t make records like that anymore.

I thought at least last night Brazil would brighten up the week for me by beating England at football (soccer). The Scots, Irish and Welsh just love it when England lose. But they only managed a draw. But at least Brazil scored in the last minute, just when England had thought they had won.

The British artist has set a $100 million price tag on his “For the Love of God” diamond encrusted platinum skull. It is the highest price asked for a work of art put on sale by a living artist. The piece cost $30 million to make, the purchase of 8,601 diamonds weighing a total of 1,106.18 carats accounted for a large proportion of the cost. But if a scull is worth £50 million what is YesBut’s Images worth?

Why not participate; click here and leave your suggestion of a caption for today’s YesBut’s Image.

The Queen of Hearts

I saw a report on TV of the State Banquet given by President Bush in honour of Queen Elizabeth II. In his tailcoat and white tie Bush looked like a constipated stuffed penguin. The Queen looked so old.

We forget that she is 81 years of age - though it does seem she has been around forever. When she ascended the throne on 6th February1952 two of the Wartime leaders were still in power: Joseph Stalin in the USSR and Harry S Truman in the USA. The third leader Winston Churchill didn’t return to office as Prime Minister until October 1951. George W Bush was 5 years old and as for Tony Blair, in 1951 he wasn’t even a twinkle in his father’s eye, (how most people wish that had remained the status quo).

She has been around a long time, during which there have been eleven US Presidents and she will soon accept the resignation of her twelfth Prime Minister (Harold Wilson served two terms).

Anyone who has been in the public eye for over eighty years is bound to have been the subject of a wide range of comment - from adoration through apathy to hatred. The Queen attracted the greatest barrage of criticism in respect to her relationship with Princess Diana. She has been accused of hating Diana. That is absolutely incorrect; the Queen neither hates nor loves anyone. When she became Queen she had the equivalent of an “emotional lobotomy”. She decided that the only way she could survive as Queen would be to become emotionally dead. Why did she do that?

We are all the product of our nurture. Historically the Royal family has always been emotionally dysfunctional, none more so than in the Twentieth century. The Queen’s grandmother Queen Mary was “a cold fish” who if not ruling the country ruled the Royal Family with a rod of iron. She was so remote from her children that she did not notice they were being abused by their nanny.

But the greatest influence on the Queen was her father George VI, the man who should not have been King. He became King in 1936 on the abdication of his brother Edward VIII. He was extremely shy and suffered from stammering. For him public speaking was a nightmarish burden. The strain of office undoubtedly contributed to his premature death aged 56. The young Princes Elizabeth was very close to her father and witnessed the effect being King had on him.

Queen Elizabeth II has one guiding unwavering belief, that it is her Devine inescapable duty to rule. Irrespective of her health or events surrounding her private and public life, her first and only duty is to act as Queen. So when she became Queen she relinquished all personal feelings. But the emotional coolness only applies to humans, she loves dogs and horses, so she can‘t be all that bad.

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHICH ONE THE QUEEN MIGHT TALK TO